Copy & Voice
How much copy is too much?
When it stops advancing the argument. Length isn't the enemy, redundancy is. Read each paragraph and ask what it adds that the reader didn't already have. Most pages can lose a third with no loss of meaning, and the third that goes is usually throat-clearing at the top of each section.
Next moves
- Replace every abstraction with the concrete thing it stands for.
- Cut the first paragraph. It is almost always a throat-clear.
- Write like one person talking to one person, then read it aloud to catch the lies.
Send the page. I'll mark the three sentences doing the real work and the twenty that are in their way.